Radical
Forget the Home Information Pack (HIP), it will take generations to have an Energy Performance Certificate (EPC) on every home using that delivery vehicle.
I have devised ten vote-winning policy instruments to ensure EPC assessments are conducted on every home within at least two years (a random period of time based on no particular reasoning or calculation).
I envisage no opposition - It is for the best. Even Philip Selwood, Chief Exec of Energy Saving Trust, would be proud of these radical measures. Afterall, it would keep their Green Homes Service busy (what's happening with that scheme anyway?)!
Here we go:
- Pregnant women (or men!): No Energy Performance Certificate? No NHS or Midwife delivery for you then! Irresponsible to encourage more wasteful carbon emitters.
- Benefit claimants: See pensions
- Pensions: No EPC? No pension - Can't have you sat in your inefficient house all day.
- Planning permission: Enlarging your home? EPC for you - Both before-and-after; and let's see an overall one grade improvement too, minimum.
- Remortgages: Over a million fixed rate mortgage deals ending soon apparently - No EPC? Oh dear!
- Opening bank account: Sorry! You need an EPC to access society's rich consumer trappings! Gotch'ya!
- Change of utility meter: What use a smart meter if you're still cold?
- Postal delivery: No EPC? No post - Can't have precious heat escaping through those big 'ole draughty letterboxes!
- Electoral roll: No EPC? No vote (and no secured loans or other contingent contracts too)
- Purchasing white goods (washing machines, cookers, fridges etc...): they may have an 'A' rating but look at all that generated heat escaping through the walls!
With personal ID cards and a barcode on every home it would be a cinch to implement!
There you go, sorted! Vote for me in the next general election (unless Caroline Flint hires me as consultant first).
Got any ideas of your own?
