Life's a bitch
Spent most of this morning writing emails apologising for my lack of “presence” over the last few weeks. Thought I might do the same here for the benefit of RSS subscribers too.
Life’s been a bit shitty, truth be told.
My partner fell pregnant last month. When she presented herself for her first scan, something wasn’t quite right. The hospital suspected a blighted ovum (where the sac develops but the foetus doesn’t, basically), but only a second scan a week later would confirm.
A week later, on that appointed day, at 5am, our collective suspicions were more or less confirmed after her “waters broke”, if that’s the right phrase (I'll spare you the graphicals).
It was a terrible time, I can’t tell you. The emotional rollercoaster that I, as a man, underwent was beyond compare. The feeling of utter helplessness cripples and cuts deep.
For her: well, as a man, I cannot possibly even feebly begin to imagine. For me it was all “in the head”; for her it’s actually happening to her body, and head.
We resigned ourselves to the inevitable. Our only solace was knowing it was nothing we had done, and that some decisions we might have faced were stolen from us, thankfully; others, not so.
Another week passed. This time the hospital announced there was definitely no sign of life at all; but no miscarriage had taken place either - a ‘missed miscarriage’, we were told.
Two days later and she’s in again to “evacuate products of conception”. A charming description befitting our inhuman consumerist age, I thought.
During this period, to top it all off, a close childhood friend died at work – heart attack.
Cue funeral. Great!
There was also a kick-off in the Home Inspector Forum (HIF) I had to deal with. I must admit, though, it was a “welcome” distraction in a masochistic kind of way; albeit, we lost a member (but hopefully kept more).
The future
All this obviously leaves one thinking: what next?
Even the mere prospect of having a child forces a change to one’s thinking about the future direction of life - blogging (here) and modding (the HIF) would have defo taken a knock for a start!
Now, I’m left wondering if I should continue doing this at all.
On the one hand, I think this blog might have served it’s purpose: the industry is now up and running; the terrible turbulent times of its inception largely behind us.
The blog is nearly three years old now. It has been a (self-funded) labour of love, borne from a desire to provide some kind of help to the many thousands of DEAs who poured into the industry knowing nothing, when there was very little information about.
I know the website has been a source of help, news and info to all levels of industry and Govt (and a certain University too, I believe!) - I am proud of that.
But it has largely been your encouragement and feedback that helped spur me on to keep going. I thank you for that; it really helped pick me up during times when I questioned my efforts.
On the other hand, I hear from people who miss the podcasts, for instance, and feel there’s a real need for a news platform.
I agree. There is currently no “official”, adequately-resourced, journalistic medium providing news, comment and analysis to all levels of both this industry and others allied to it, including Govt. I have tried my best but I am on my own, and sometimes the work needed to do something justice just isn’t viable. Plus I’m no trained journo either!
I’ve spoken to a couple of accred schemes and they agreed there’s a desperate need too - It’s difficult staying on top of gossip and events when news is scattered in so many places, if at all - and some of it is important.
Every industry needs its “thought leaders”, and this one is no exception. They are out there, IMO, but there is nowhere their voice can be heard; apart from the HIF, that is, but it can get quite noisy in there and some feel intimidated by it.
A neutral platform to cross-pollinate ideas without the noise; to provide analysis of trends, new developments, and, informed analysis of emerging legislation and industry practices, from the people who know. This is all missing, yet it forms the glue that binds an industry together.
Before the pregnancy I looked at the feasibility of introducing two 30-second radio-type advert slots into the podcasts to fund a potential relaunch (podcasts are the most expensive part of this website).
I approached two companies: one thought it might “harm” the brand/integrity of the podcasts (which I respect and worry about myself); the other expressed positive interest.
Maybe I should approach more companies (do contact me if you’re interested) but it’s not just about money, it’s also about participation generally…
I would dearly love, for instance, to have the likes of Elmhurst, ECMK and the RICS, et al, involved in the conversation – I know the industry wants to hear more from them, too.
But I have to confess, the channels of communication are difficult to navigate with the above. Maybe that’s how they like it; maybe it’s my approach. But I have to say, if you are reading, if you are not in the conversation you’re losing mind-share, IMO. It’s time you reached out, put something back into the community - you are a fundamental part of it, after all.
Anyway, I’m rambling on.
I’m still in a state of flux as to what should become of this website. I think I’m ready for a fresh new challenge, to be honest. But whether that is within the industry, ramping things up to launch some kind of news publication (I don’t even know if I’m capable to be honest, but I sure would get involved if someone was looking for help), or completely out of it, I don’t know.
It's not the end, it's just a change.
This has been a brain-dump. Thank you for reading (if you still are).
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